Thursday, October 22, 2009

Here We Go Again

The news that former President and convicted plunderer Joseph Estrada will run for reelection in 2010 inspired a friend to write this:
Dear Erap,

Wala ka na ba talagang magawa sa natitira mong oras dito sa Planet Earth?! Sinabi na kasi sa iyo, too much alcohol is bad for your health. Ayan tuloy, natuluyan ka ng todo todo. Naubos ng o* ang brain cells mo! But then again, you've defied science by not having it in the first place.

At sinama mo pa talaga si Binay e noh?! At di ka tumigil dun. Dinagdag mo pa si Enrile, si Miriam, yung anak ni De Venecia, at kung sino pang hudas. Sana sinabi mo na din, "Pilipinas, meet your doom."

Sige nga. Anong opinyon mo sa climate change? Teka lang. Kaya mo bang i-spell yun?!

Sana wag mo namang sayangin yung ginawa kong paglalakad mula Citibank Paseo hanggang Edsa Shrine kasama ng mga kaibigan ko at ng ilan pang libong Pinoy. Di ka namin ginugood taym nun ha! Effort yun! At ayoko ng ulitin pa.

Baka gusto mo na lang mag-audition bilang bagong housemate ni Kuya? Tumutulong din naman sila sa mahihirap. Libre din ang pagkain, libreng tirahan, maraming girls. At pag ikaw ang natirang housemate, yayaman ka din!

Hindi nga? Seryoso ako. Sana ikaw, hindi.

Nalulurkey sa yo,
Akong umaasang may pag-asa ang bansang itow ng hindi dahil sa yo
I, for one, am not too worried. We kicked him out of MalacaƱang once, we will kick him out again if necessary.

[Hat tip to B. Pascual]

*To be read as "over." I know because I asked the writer if that was a typo. Just goes to show I'm not "in."

2 comments:

  1. haha i love the letter :) my thoughts exactly. sasayang-in nya lahat ng effort kong tumakas at magtago sa mga gma cameras (kasi bawal ako pumunta and gma was the only channel showing in jakarta then, ahaha!)

    man, imagine that, we'd be the laughingstock of the entire world. daamn.

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