Tibibord's Music Video Alphabet 3

To cap the year I'm going to complete my all-time favorites list.

…

S - "Sweetest Thing" by U2. The most elaborate public apology ever filmed. Like Bono, the video is so radical it has its own stand on the divisive political issues of the day. And I recently decided the Boyzone cameo was necessary. Runners-up: "She's The One" (Robbie Williams proves The Cutting Edge is 96 minutes too long); "Save Tonight" (Eagle-Eye Cherry proves Alanis Morissette's multiple personality disorder is catching); and "Sour Girl" (Stone Temple Pilots' Scott Weiland proves only Robert Smith looks good in guyliner).

T - "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia. A cutie from Down Under sings while the set is torn down around her. How's that for song interpretation? Runner-up: "Try Again" by Aaliyah. A cutie who's now six feet under gets an assist from Jet Li.

U - "Unpretty" by TLC. Left Eye looks so cute signing no one would guess she once burned a boyfriend's house down. Minus points for the graphic depiction of breast implant surgery, though. Runner-up: "Under The Bridge" by Red Hot Chili Peppers. Not very creative but you can amuse yourself guessing who among the people Anthony Kiedis passes on the street are Filipinos.

V - "Virtual Insanity" by Jamiroquai. Jay Kay's got the few remaining slick moves outside of Usher videos. And for the last time, kids, it's the walls that are moving. Runner-up: "Vindicated" by Dashboard Confessional. The comic book effect has been done before but here it's well-executed.

W - "Wishful Thinking" by Duncan Sheik. One can never go wrong with Gwyneth Paltrow clips. I wonder why her husband hasn't featured her in his band's videos? Make Trade Fair would photograph well on her cheekbone. Runner-up: "Weather Report" by Cynthia Alexander. Aren't her ears cute?

X - __________. Knock yourselves out.

Y - "Yellow" by Coldplay. Simple pero rock.

Z - "Zephyr Song, The" by Red Hot Chili Peppers. I had to put it this in—it shows you how the world would look like if you drop acid. It is also possible this video triggers epileptic seizures.

Edu, Was That You?

I went to Riverbanks last night to get some DVDs for a friend. As I was paying for my purchases, there was a commotion. Someone shouted, "Raid! Raid!" The DVD vendors packed their stalls immediately. Buyers and sellers alike scurried away carrying their pirated merchandise. I didn't stay to check if Edu Manzano himself arrived. As soon as I heard Raid! I got the hell out of Dodge. Better safe than sorry. Too bad the DVD vendors don't display the discs at their stalls. Had that been the case I could—and would—have grabbed a handful amidst the commotion.

Outside

I received a big surprise when I got home earlier—I'm locked out of the house! The neighbors said my landlords went to a relative's wake. They didn't say what time they'll be back. So now I'm killing time at an Internet cafe. What will I do in case they aren't back within the next few hours?

Breaking News

It turns the recent shooting in Ateneo arose from an argument over the dress code for construction workers. The suspect, a security guard, scolded the victim for wearing slippers. One thing led to another and the poor construction worker is dead. As reported in The Guidon, there are a lot of conflicting statements about the case—whether it was the first altercation between the parties, whether armed co-workers of the victim chased the suspect, whether the guard escaped on foot, et cetera. I hope justice is served in this case. Any death is a tragedy, no matter who's involved.

Eventful Saturday

We went shooting at the Philippine Army range in Fort Bonifacio. It was so much fun we kept at it until early afternoon. It was a busy day at the range. There were at least three other groups shooting. Our party of six fired close to four hundred bullets. When we finally left my nape was sunburned, my right forearm was throbbing, and my trigger finger was sore. But it was worth it. Camille's dad oriented us at the start of the shoot. J, Camille, and Cybs didn't need it, but I did. It helped to have a great instructor behind me pointing out what I was doing wrong each shot. My stance sucked but I think I did okay. I tried only the 9mm. Maybe next time I can shoot the .45 caliber. Hint, hint. After a big lunch at Aycee, J and I went to Power-Up in Pasig and watched the finals of a wall climbing competition. Now that is a difficult sport. I think I grew calluses just watching the climbers.

Turkey Shoot

I'm at J's house. We have a gun shoot in Fort Bonifacio in a few hours with Camille, her dad, her sister Cybs, and Cybs' friends. I arrived a few minutes ago. I haven't had any sleep—I went to bed at 11 p.m. last night but didn't sleep a wink. That's how excited I am. At 4:30 this morning I decided to get out of bed lest I fall asleep and miss the shoot. I hope I don't fall asleep at the range and shoot myself in the foot or something.

Tibibord's Music Video Alphabet 2

Here is the middle of my music video alphabet.

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J - "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam. This video isn't advisable for very young audiences. Jeremy is one disturbed kid who likes hanging out in the forest and has an annoying habit of bringing pistols to school even when it's not Show and Tell Day. Nobody knows why, but Eddie Vedder rolls his eyeballs back into his head like the Undertaker a lot.

k - "Karma Police" by Radiohead. A neat little revenge narrative shot from the point of view of a car driver who's trying to run down someone. I pity the actor who plays the victim because of all the running he had to do. But at least his character exacts payback in the end. A cerebral video from a band that lives a month ahead of the curve.

L - "Learn To Fly" by Foo Fighters. Alanis Morissette's multiple personality disorder is really catching. The action takes place on an airline flight that puts the high in mile-high. Jack Black and Kyle Gass from Tenacious D, make scene-stealing appearances. Dave Grohl would later on return the favor. Runner-up: "Loser" by Beck. All the Spanish I needed to know I learned from this song. Say it with me: Soy un perdidor...

M - "Mr. Jones" by Counting Crows. Vocalist Adam Duritz is a kindred spirit—when I have one too many I dance the exact same way, haha. Props to him for getting away with that fringed jacket and for keeping his dreads. Runner-up: "Ms. Jackson" by Outkast. Breakthrough hit from Atlanta's Big Boi and Andre. The first in a looong line of stank-tastic videos.

N - "No Rain" by Blind Melon. Tap dance routine, check. Bumblebee costume, check. Geek glasses, yep. Yellow tutus, sure. Frolickers in the field, check. Did I miss anything? Once my mother caught me singing along to this video. Aba, kumakanta ka pala? she said. That shut me up. Runnerup: "N 2 Gether Now" by Limp Bizkit featuring Method Man. Fred Durst and Method show each other their kung fu while Pauly Shore cameos as a hapless pizza delivery guy.

O - "Ordinary World" by Duran Duran. This is just your basic performance video, but the beautiful woman in an avant-garde dress and crazy hat leaves a haunting image. Runner-up: "Only God Knows Why" by Kid Rock. Aww, the self-proclaimed "American Bad Ass" has a soft side.

P - "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)" by Offspring. This video brought the band mainstream popularity as well as accusations of selling out. They thought the kid who stars in it is a lucky charm he reappeared in Offspring's very next video. Runners-up: "Peaches" by Presidents Of The United States Of America (the boys battle evil ninjas who threaten to take their lives) and "Papano Naman Kami?" by The Dawn (the boys battle evil "pirates" who threaten to take their lunch money).

Q - This letter stumped me. "Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)" by Backstreet Boys ain't exactly my cup of tea.

R - "Return To Innocence" by Enigma. !esrever ni s'gnihtyrevE !esrever ni s'gnihtyrevE Truly, madly, deeply creepy.

Memorized

[Image taken from here.]

Earlier tonight I went to Katski's advanced birthday party at the MyCinema theatre in Greenbelt 3. I was disappointed only a handful of my college blockmates could make it but not too disappointed because I saw Dimples Romana in person. She's so cute!

We watched The Princess Bride. I love that movie. I've seen it so many times before I think I spoiled the movie experience for my seatmate Mark. The poor guy had to listen to my predicting the dialogue all throughout.

FPJ Died Today

I am not grieving nor am I the least bit concerned. I'm not a fan, see, just someone who has seen my fair share of FPJ movies through the years. I'd catch these movies at the unlikeliest of places—on board a provincial bus, at a roadside eatery, or aboard an inter-island ferry. They're all so similar I bet one could string 'em up to make one long movie and not encounter plot-related problems.

Therein lies his appeal to the masses. Unlike the Gump-ian box of chocolates, in an FPJ flick you always know what you're gonna get . The denim jacket. The patilya. The pistols that need no reloading. Grenade-tipped bullets. Paquito Diaz as villain. Marianne dela Riva as wife. The engine piston-like punches. The two-handed pompyang slaps to the sides of the head. The short windmill uppercut to the gut.

FPJ's movies have a reassuring constancy to them. They are sure things in a world that's everything but. In playing iconic characters who might kiss dirt at first but in return make the adversary kiss horse shit, he gave the masses hope.

The only thing I fault him for was his failure to respond with a Dolphy-like "What if I win?" to the would-be kingmakers and puppeteers who egged him on to run as president last May. In hindsight, it's good he got cheated out of the presidency. A government run like hell by Stitch is loads better than one run like heaven by Noli.

Perhaps Da King should even be envied. He found a permanent, albeit tragic and involuntary out from the hell ride that the Philippines has/will become.

Pinacquiao

Manny Pacquiao's fourth-round knockout win over Fahsan 3K Battery at The Fort over the weekend makes Filipinos feel good about themselves again. The country was in sore need of some good news after the recent typhoons and Pacquiao was kind enough to oblige.

I wasn't confident he would win. Unlike his two previous outings, Pacquiao crammed his training for this one. His stamina was suspect and there were fears the longer the fight lasted, the greater the chance that Fahsan would upset him. It was imperative he finish his Thai opponent in the early rounds.

Which is exactly what happened.

From the opening bell Pacquiao went with his right, something his trainers have been trying to develop in preparation for his rematch against Juan Manuel Marquez this February.

The Thai went down in the second round. Then in the next two rounds Pacquiao knocked him down twice before putting him away for good. And the way the fight ended is so awe-inspiring it deserves its own paragraph.

First, Pacquiao led off with a half-looping right to the side of Fahsan's head. And when the Thai dropped his right hand to counterpunch, Pacquiao snuck in a booming left uppercut that sent Fahsan airborne. That's right, Popeye-punches-Bluto airborne. The more replays I watched the more I pitied Fahsan. The poor guy never knew what hit him. He looked like he got knocked back all the way to third grade.

It was then I realized I've been had—because I bought the BS the fight promoters peddled.

Pacquiao's drumbeaters foisted Fahsan—a last-minute choice because they couldn't swing a deal with a big-name featherweight—as a worthy opponent. They touted him as a Filipino-destroyer who had scalped twenty Pinoy boxers.

It turns out Fahsan is a patsy, a thirty-something former world champion who has seen better days. In the vernacular, laos.

Fahsan was game, no doubt, but the fight was a massacre from the start. He was thoroughly outpunched and outboxed. He landed only a handful of quality punches even as his head repeatedly snapped back from Pacquiao's blows. And instead of making Pacquiao chase him around the ring and tiring Manny out, Fahsan stood in front of him. Serves him right he got knocked out.

I'm not belittling our fighter, though. Let's give credit where credit is due. A win is a win and in this case, it's an almost 17-million peso win. Even after the promoter, manager, trainer, cutman, et al. take their cut, Pacquiao's wallet will still be a few million pesos richer. Not bad for a walk in the park, right?

Tibibord's Music Video Alphabet 1

To cap the year MTV will count down its Top 100 videos for 2004.

A hundred. Wow, even I can't recall that many. Most of the new ones are crap so I'll do my own list of those I won't mind watching again and again. The songs themselves may not be that great but the videos certainly are. I'm a sucker for pretty pictures.

The following is the first installment.

A - "Amazing" by Aerosmith. With its virtual reality theme, this video lived up to its title. It's also one of three Aerosmith videos that star Alicia Silverstone. Give yourself a pat on the back if you can name the other two. Runner-up: "All The Small Things" by Blink 182, a hilarious spoof of the boy band phenomenon.

B - "Bitter Sweet Symphony" by the Verve. Who can forget how vocalist Richard Ashcroft strides down the street barging into hapless pedestrians? He got his karmic comeuppance, though. The band (reportedly) received neither publishing nor performance royalties from this hit song—the money (reportedly) went to the Rolling Stones' Mick Jagger and Keith Richards whose song "The Last Time" provided the haunting orchestral sample. Now that is bittersweet. Runners-up: "Big Me" by Foo Fighters (a spoof of the Mentos TV commercials) and "Breaking The Habit" by Linkin Park (featuring animation from the outfit that contributed to Kill Bill: Volume 1).

C - "Crossroads, Tha" by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. This has one of the greatest twists in music video history. Jessica Alba has nothing on the dark angel here. Runners-up: "California Love" by Tupac Shakur and "Californication" by Red Hot Chili Peppers. The similarities end with the titles—the former looked like Mad Max, the latter like a video game.

D - "Drive" by Incubus. The video features animation work by vocalist Brandon Boyd and drummer Jose Pasillas. Runner-up: "Dear Paul" by Barbie's Cradle featuring an army of guitar-slinging women.

E - "Estranged" by Guns N' Roses. Talk about stunning visuals. In this video, vocalist Axl Rose jumps off an oil tanker and guitarist Slash solos amidst the waves. I also heard that Axl wore a shirt here with a picture of Jesus Christ and the words "Kill Your Idols." I never did visually confirm it.

F - "Freak On A Leash" by Korn. The video features animation work from the studio of Spawn creator Todd McFarlane. Ambangis, 'tol! Runners-up: "Fruitcake" by the Eraserheads (the 'Heads in sleeves and ties, manic street preaching at the now-defunct Fiesta Carnival in Cubao, Quezon City); "Firestarter" by The Prodigy (Keith Flint, clad in stars and stripes, wreaking havoc inside a network of tunnels); and "Fell In Love With A Girl" by White Stripes (Jack and Meg, Lego-ized, rocking out in stop motion).

G - "Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio. Because this is the Dangerous Minds theme, Michelle Pfeiffer and them damn fine cheekbones make an appearance. Runner-up: "Go West" by Pet Shop Boys. They had to have been on something when they made this synth pop classic.

H - "Honey" by Mariah Carey featuring Puff Daddy. Before J-Lo and Ja Rule, Beyonce and Jay-Z, Nelly and Beyonce's sidekick in Destiny's Child, there were Mariah and Puffy (and Ma$e), pioneers of the diva-rapper collaboration. This video also marked the last time Ms. Carey jiggled in all the right places. Runner-up: "Hari Ng Sablay" by Sugarfree. A clumsy boy grows up to become Joel Torre.

I - "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette. Here we meet a few of Alanis' multiple personalities. The real ending—a head-on collision with a truck that results in the instantaneous death of all four passengers—is little-known and seldom seen, thereby diminishing the video's effectiveness as a cautionary tale for inattentive drivers. Runners-up: "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)" by Meatloaf and "I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself" by the White Stripes. The song titles are a mouthful. The videos are, as well.

Homicide On The Hill

Two Fridays back my boardmate came home from Ateneo with some sensational news. The school was abuzz—apparently one security guard shot to death a worker at the new construction site behind the SEC building. My boardmate also claimed he saw the perpetrator escape on a scooter. The gossip is, the incident was an ID check that went awry. I can't wait to get my hands on the latest Guidon.

Dear Santa,

I haven't asked you for anything since the year you put my gift in my parents' cabinet rather than inside the sock I tacked to the wall.

Don't worry, I assure you I've put that unfortunate incident behind me. But I would like to make a small request that should make up for all the times you didn't pass by my house on your way to bring Andrew E. those kissing scenes he always asks for.

Santa, I want to be adopted by Angelina Jolie.

"To have a Muslim child in a home with a Christian child at the same time is something I'd like to do," she said. "I'd like my Buddhist son living with everybody. I'd like everybody together and all cultures mixing..."

You see, Santa? It's one of those two-birds-with-one-stone kind of deals. Besides, don't you think I should get plus-points for wishing that somebody else's wish should come true?

Ms. Jolie needn't send me to school. I'll even tutor and babysit all my future United Nations siblings. She won't have to spank me... much. She only has to give me daily baths, and then some.

Pretty please, Santa. I've been (relatively) good this year. Go check your list—twice—and you'll find out I'm not naughty, just nice. I avoided doing all those nasty stuff in the Revised Penal Code, saying sh*t and f*ck you, and watching The Fifth Wheel... er, maybe not that last one, but you get the idea.

I don't have a ride that MTV can pimp so I ask this instead. And I'm asking nicely. I just know you can make this happen.

Love Lots,



P.S. If you could forward this to her that would be peachy. Tenshu.

P.P.S. Please get back to me ASAP in case I need to make arrangements with the Make-A-Wish Foundation and/or Bernadette Sembrano instead.